Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

notes

As I approached the stage for the first time in a long time, clangs of self-doubt muddied my head.  As I began to remember what I was singing, I told myself.

"You're an old man and you've been singing for decades.  Show them how it is done."

Cocker is fun to sing because his style invites styling, genuine opportunities to improvise.  The lyrics are relatively simple and the melody is energized, easing the burden on me to provide energy.

Once I tried to sing Queen.  Freddy was a force unto himself.  Queen demands preparation.

I usually don't even hear myself singing, my voice being ultimately familiar to me.  When I sang Ziggy, however, I was very comfortable with the microphone.  It was one am and four shiners gone, so I was almost too loose as the first riff came and started sloppy, but I know this song as well as anything and the words began to flow without prompting.

I listened to the voice coming from the speakers and didn't recognize the sound, but it sounded cool and I let myself go.

I am told that I sang to my sister when she was an infant and I was a toddler.  I sang to my daughter endlessly as she refused to sleep some late night, variations on ABC-Twinkle.  Panic prevented me from singing in public, other than in a choir.  I used to sing full voice as I cut the lawn, my notes drowned in the two-stroke buzz. 

People have long panicked me and the sound of applause would horribly terrify me as the attention of a crowd became a demanding noise.  I have always avoided attention, afraid of the collapse that might occur in a panic.  I don't invite my audience.  I tolerate them.

Anxiety is fear of our response to fear.  Self-feeding monster that cannot be tolerated.  It is okay to be afraid.  It is not okay to be afraid of being afraid.

do you hear what I hear?

enjoy,

DC

posted by: Malinov at 07:51 | link | comments (3) |
petting the cat, tales of passing time

Comments:

#1  19 September 2006 - 11:05

 

cocker is one of the greatest.
last night i sang and danced to
"nouveu rollez" wonderful song.
i became a fan of him with the show 'the wonder years'

queen is tricky, but i can sing the chorus- or at least fool myself into thinking that i'm doing a good job.

i know- TMI.

congrats on your new adventure.
i think that what sets you apart is your passion and so 'avant gard' mind- you have probably said this before, so pardon the repetition.

faaraa

faaraa

#2  19 September 2006 - 11:11

 

I can sing Queen with the best of the backseat bohemians, but to go solo and do justice to Freddy out of the box is no tiny task. I could do one of his ballads, but they never include those in the lists. I wasn't quite ready to scream "pay attention to me!!!!!" Freddy was one of my first heroes. DC

Malinov

#3  19 September 2006 - 11:17

 

freddy forever baby!
'get on your bike and ride'

btw: it's N'Oubliez Jamais- i'm brain dead this morning.

faaraa

Comments: