Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

driven

The tension of teaching someone to drive comes from paying close attention to something and exercising no control.  I spend ninety-nine percent of the time helping her stay relaxed and focused.

Driving is so simple that the hardest part is paying continual attention, particularly when attention deficient.  As a sensory experience, however, it can be an excellent balancing activity.

The kids have joined their mother for the day.  I am relieved.  They are among the few demands I cannot ignore, so their time with me is largely surrendered.  I'm going to find my way back into the stream of humanity, test my skills further.

We went out for ice cream last night, Henry's, a local favorite.  A pretty girl scooped the boys dishes for me, extra-large smalls.  Matthew was terribly impressed by the portion and couldn't stop remarking on it, making the girl blush.  We knew why she was generous.  She looked a bit like Sabrina.  I caught her eye for a smile.

"Of course," interjected Tess.  She's always been aware of how women react to me, far more than I have been. 

In sixth grade, I was totally traumatized by a girl - an unattractive and unpleasant girl - who insensitively assaulted me with an endless and vociferous campaign of love.  I resisted politely but the storm only gained fury.  No one could make this girl stop feeling the way she did and her actions were objectively just annoying.  No one could help me.  Assertive rejection and endurance brought me out from her cruel torment. 

The experience left me wary.  I evoked reactions I was not prepared to handle, so I tried to avoid them as best I could, did my best to prevent evocation.  My skill set has grown considerably.  Let the evocations begin.

Pushy people don't scare me anymore.  ole.  I can be as scary as anyone, if need be.  Crafty and scary.
Life is way too short to be pushed around, especially be fools.  I don't mind being pushed by someone who knows what they're doing.  Its the idiots who need to keep their pushiness to themselves.

Jeez.

I think I'll go get a job tomorrow.  I'm bored with being poor and what the hell, if I'm going to be bored, I might as well be rich.  The first thing I need to do is get a house with a pool.  Living in Texas without a pool is really brutal.  Vacation to Mexico. 

On that note,

Enjoy

M

posted by: Malinov at 09:34 | link | comments (3) |

Comments:

#1  31 July 2006 - 18:40

 

when you get a house with a pool, I'm coming over to take a swim. :-)

solyluna

#2  01 August 2006 - 00:53

 

You sound stressed, man. I had some weird middle-school experiences myself, heh. And no doubt teaching a teenager to drive is stressful and with focusing under your conditions, holy crap! I did it w/my daughter who was raging. Take anxiety up about 100 notches, LOL.

But it all gets better from here on out in about 8 years. Now I have a laughing plumpy grand-daughter and a loving daughter who calls me for advice every day. She who knew everything now asks me for advice.

I went out in the early morning before the heat and humidity got to be too much and fertilized your beans. You'll get it and be just fine, dude. No worries.

But my psychic sense says don't take the first offer. Or be wary of it. Wait, wait, and know your value and hold out for the -- not salary -- but work environment that you crave. See?

jennybird

#3  01 August 2006 - 10:00

 

nothing a swim with Anita won't cure

Malinov

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