Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

grooving

The perception of slowed time has become fascinating.  Continued training continues to intensify the calm within me.  Poker players would be well served by CBT - Cain Brain Training - as the reduction of internal energies reduces compulsive behaviors.  Consciousness reigns.

I decided today that I should sport a look of constant amusement.  My confident male lion appearance sends people cowering when I look too serious.  Being amused isn't a bad way to go through life, when you think about it.  I'm amused.  I could laugh, but I won't because I'm just amused.  Isn't everything all too comical?  So amusing.

I am the prophet of relaxation.  I will relax you.  I will show you the way.  Listen to the sound of reformation and rebirth.  Discover the fearless you.  Freedom is a few hours away.  No drugs.  No contortion.  No effort.  So incredibly simply that I am truly amused.  Humanity evolves with a single note. 

I have discovered the proverbial clapping hand. 

No joke.  No one takes me seriously, which I must admit I find amusing, although less so every day.  What I have discovered changes everything you know about humanity.  Just because I make outlandish claims doesn't make me wrong.  I'm going to end up spending the last part of my life saying "I told you so," over and over again.  Promise me that when you discover that I'm not full of shit, you'll perform penance for your lack of faith.  I don't think I'll really have time to chastise everyone who deserves it.  Fools.

The cashier called me "sweetiepie" and asked what she could do for me.  Her co-worker angrily chastised her for flirting with me.  She had already called "dibs."

A guy in the dining room complimented my jacket and asked me if I was a musician.  I dodged the question, just because there were more interesting things to talk about.  With the leather, my resemblance to a rock star, especially since I'm not a kid, draws constant attention.  I've always been unaware of it, hiding within myself.  Letting the days go by.

My amphetimines started bothering me yesterday - they induce a subtle but universal muscle tension that nothing relaxes but time.   Not taking them brings me a few days of mind-numbed exhaustion.  I'm trying to switch to caffeine which mostly counters the exhaustion and works in an entirely different way than adderol.  Today seems good, although I have a tendency to drift in and out a bit. 

Njoi

M

posted by: Malinov at 16:13 | link | comments |

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