Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

reaches

Dreams expand to envelop our consciousness, a flood of disconnected sensations burbling from within.

I have felt my spirit disengage from my body.  I have felt the freedom of vital energies.

I have been betrayed, left with thoughts that invade me by the hour from first waking until my nightly collapse.  The random roam of a streaming mind invariably visits one or another of my wounds, insistently reminding me to remember the pains I wish I'd never discovered.

Despite the court's command, my Bovary has retained many of my personal possessions.  She has two boxes of my writing. 

May God have mercy on their souls.

The anger does not erupt into flames, but continually smoulders.  I am restrained by knowledge - any harm I inflict on the woman is transferred to my children.  She has no restraint, seems almost eager to give her pain to the kids.  It is a frustrating situation.  I gnash my teeth and rend my garments as I wail in agonized anguish.

When I hear reports of fatal accidents, a dastardly portion of my spirit begins to hope.  I have never wished harm to anyone, but I wish she could be stopped.  I work to purge the vengeance from my soul.  The Universe will unfold. 

Our month with the children proved magical.  Their distaste for the woman their mother has become poured from them all as they clung to us. 

living in torment,

Malinov

posted by: Malinov at 08:19 | link | comments (1) |

Comments:

#1  14 August 2005 - 12:23

 

'I have felt my spirit disengage from my body.'

Powerful awareness.

Jackal

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