Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

that's what I'm on about

My boys have begun immersing themselves in Holy Grail.   The Pythonization has begun. 

Endless discussions have given me a better understanding of the drama I have been swept into and the curious bends of the principal players.  Sadly, I have underestimated stupidity, both in reach and in depth.  Delusion and denial dominate some people at levels that would seem unpalatable in a work of fiction but persist in non-fiction almost unhindered. 

Perhaps we should commission stupidity police to monitor these crimes against reason. 

Part of the explanation in not a lack of machinery (so to speak) but emotional storms preventing the machinery from functioning.  We can always give them the benefit of that doubt.  People would be so much smarter if they could only remain calm.

The alcalde is afraid of me because he knows he's committed a sin that is historically punishable by death, knows he deserves no better.   Guilt racks his existence - everyone comments on it.  He's dominating the eX by exploiting her insecurities, driving a spike into her pain and then pushing that cruel nail to penetrate my daughter's self-esteem.  Sad and pathetic.  I doubt the woman is strong enough to escape his ugliness.  Her daughter is not so weak.  The children, fortunately, favor me.  They are too smart to be taken in by nonsense. 

I am playing Chillingsworth to his Dimmsdale.  He can't see the A searing his soul, but the pain never leaves his face.

Tess tells everyone that Cats is her step-mother.  When I recalled my bachelor years during a drive, Tess chided me - "you're not a bachelor, you're engaged."  From the ashes of disaster, we have created a family.

The kids want me to pursue a weekly exchange schedule with the eX.  Everyone is afraid that she will hurt the kids or herself if confronted with a serious change of custody - which is not a good reason to leave the children in her care.  I'll continue pursuing full custody in court until she agrees to giving the children what they need, not what she needs to make a beaux happy - or at least less abusive, less violent.  Fortunately my attorney will be able to finish that part swiftly. 

I have no desire to cause her harm or hurt her relationship with our children, but I will take care of my children.

I never dreamed it would be so difficult to do the right thing.  The fog of some emotional trauma is endless and thick.

My calm attitude has persisted.  Life has opened to my eyes.

Enjoy,

Malinov

posted by: Malinov at 14:10 | link | comments (1) |

Comments:

#1  03 August 2005 - 10:47

 

But how do you remain calm? Please impart your wisdom oh Wise One.

Mo'nonymous

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