Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

crying and whining

With a tip of the hat to wisdom and understanding, the cataclysmic end of my marriage never provided an opportunity for closure.  Essential elements of a relationship can be severed without any damage to the rest of our feelings and the destruction can foreclose any meaningful communication.  Finding peace within myself is my determined task, accepting the stark limits to my understanding and control while perpetually pressing on in the best way I know how.

Whaaa.  Why can't I be Emperor of the Known Universe?  Help me, mommy.

God bless Lily St. Cyr.

The continual presence of the kids adds emotional stresses to the struggle.  Not in a manner that diminishes the delights of their presence, but the shift of forces require adaptation.  Adaptability is the greatest of all skills and should be practiced without rest until the end of your days.  I am relatively good at adapting, perhaps excellent at finding new solutions for new circumstances.  Accepting the passage of what has passed.

Tensions set my ADD into motion, fostering more tension as my flitting thoughts evade organization.  Calm yourself, Kasha.  How many tigers are there?

There is no time for self doubt.  Stride confidently.  Accept, prepare and act.  Approach life with patient deliberation.  Eschew impulse when reason is called for.

Hmm.  There's a thought.  Emotion isn't the polar of reason.  Impulse is the opposite of reason.  Impulsive and Deliberate.  That's the distinction I'm looking for.  The interjection of self-control.

One thing we must do is eliminate the self-language that takes away choices.  The devil MADE me do it.  Take responsibility for your feelings as well as your reasoned steps.  We make ourselves happy.  The Universe provides the ride.

Onward and Upward.

Malinov

posted by: Malinov at 09:39 | link | comments (2) |

Comments:

#1  06 July 2005 - 12:43

 

but what if your impulse is reasonable? then impulse is not the opposite of reason, just the desire to take the next logical next step. and where does fun go when impulse is banished? most likely gone with it. for me, it is like damn near everything else in life, two forces which need to be balanced, to be decided whether or not it behooves us to be impulsive or reasonable or perhaps even reasonably impulsive, which seems like kind of tepid middle ground, si?

and who is lily st. cyr?

bluematrix

#2  06 July 2005 - 13:30

 

Impulsive is important, especially where speed or over-rationalization is an issue, but it is often not the best strategy. That is the essence of the problem - there are many excellent strategies for dealing with things, but most of those strategies fail at some point. An enlightened warrior collects strategies and uses them as appropriate.

For those of us who suffer from ADD, impulse is how our minds deal with tense situations. Impulsive is often NOT the right answer in such cases. For me, anyway, part of the basic adaptation is to learn to evade my tendency to act on impulse.

Lily was a lingerie designer of old. Help me, Mommy & God bless Lily are consecutive lines in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I can and often will sing the whole musical, given the chance.

M.

Malinov

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