Journals of Lord Malinov

the poetry of madness

same as it ever was

Last night, the eX asked me to switch weekends, so I would have the kids next weekend instead of tonight.  I asked me daughter if it was something that benefited her and the boys.  Her reply let me know that the eX had pressured her to encourage my acceptance. 

She wanted me to take the kids next weekend because of a medical procedure.  I told her I would be delighted to have the kids next weekend.  I told her that I had made plans (to celebrate a long overdue-Christmas with my sister).  No one gave me a reason why I should change my plans.  I had absolutely no desire to disappoint the boys, who were very keen on coming over.

So she pulled out the decree and forced the switch.  Que sera.  We had switched for her convenience anyway.  There is no substantial advantage to either pair of weekends. 

Now I have an unplanned weekend before me.  Whatever shall we do?

Enjoy,

M

posted by: Malinov at 16:54 | link | comments (4) |

how

Since the ordeal began, I have been repeatedly asked how the eX could treat her own children so abysmally.  Usually I simply shake my head with that Lord Knows kind of dismissal.

But I know the woman better than anyone else ever could, so I can give a deeper explanation.  The eX suffers from a case of extreme self-centered selfishness.  So extreme that she can't even give to her own children.  Sad, pathetic, reprehensible. 

Honestly, I think she married this dork because she broke up two families and did her best to destroy my relationship with the kids to be with the guy, so if she broke up with him, she did all these terrible things for nothing.  Having married him, she escapes taking ultimate blame and can now dispose of him with a clean conscience.  Sick, ugly and cruel.

She asked me to switch this weekend for the next.  I asked the kids what they wanted. 

Enjoy,

M

posted by: Malinov at 17:51 | link | comments |

rising

I went to see my shink yesterday.  Shortest session ever.  I told him I felt fantastic and he believed me, so he gave me my scripts and sent me on my way.

I didn't tell him the real reason I feel so good.  Getting excited and babbling to a shrink about your incredible discovery tends to make them wary.  I need to run more clinical studies before I publish my findings.  Premature science is pseudoscience.

The first test is to find out if the results are simply reproducible.  Cats is undergoing the first trials for me.  If that produces results, we'll go to more stringent tests.  Otherwise, I'll have to recalculate.  I'm hoping I have found a simple phenomenon.  Complex mechanisms are much more difficult to isolate.

As I suspected, the eX and her doofus married on Monday.  It means little to me, other than further proof of her stupidity.  The children cornered Cats last night and made her promise that she wouldn't leave me.  Our relationship is far from shaky.  The kids just can't bear the idea of losing her.  She's a better mother than any they've known.

As the weekend with us came to a close (a few weeks ago), Greg called his mother to ask for another hour with us.  She asked why.  "I want to play Heroscape with Mom.  I mean Dad."  Calling Cats "Mom" while talking to his mother - wanting to spend time with Cats instead of Mom - was the stab of a dull knife.  The eX refused.  If she can't make the kids love her, she'll make them obey.  Fool.

M

posted by: Malinov at 12:11 | link | comments (2) |

vision

The problem isn't accidental marriage.  The amusement is that when people try to steal the benefits of being married - insurance, credit, etc., - they become married.  If a couple doesn't "pretend" to be married to garner benefits, they don't "accidentally" marry.  It is hard not to laugh when people try to exploit a system and then scream bloody murder when the system makes them pay.  HAha.

The same thing happens with partnership - represent yourselves as partners to a third party and you are partners.  Lies evoke consequences.

Life is joy. 

Enjoy,

M

posted by: Malinov at 13:33 | link | comments |

giggle

People just have no idea.

In Texas - a common law state - a couple is married if they cohabitate (a single night can be enough) and hold themselves out as married.  This later part doesn't mean you have to send out announcements.  Insurance, utilities, loans, hotel registers - any single act of Mr. & Mrs. makes a wedding unnecessary.

If you live with a member of the opposite sex and are not completely diligent about telling the world that you are JUST roommates (in Texas), you are married.  It gets really funny when they break up and decide to marry someone else.  There are no common-law divorces.

M

posted by: Malinov at 20:00 | link | comments (6) |

chew

Something startling has happened.

I stumbled into an encounter very close to the worst of my daily fears.  As I recognized my situation, the first pulsations of panic began.

As quickly, within two heartbeats, the panic stopped.  I remained perfectly calm, handling the situation with intelligence, charm and grace.

My tinkerings have suddenly shown incredible results.  I am extremely compulsively calm.

Onward and Upward,

M

posted by: Malinov at 18:13 | link | comments (2) |

difference

I sang again last night.  I began gently with "the future's uncertain and the end is always near" and then took a shot with "read your mind."  I was really able to let loose with Gordon's tune.  I gave a shot at some energized Queen, but quickly struggled with trying to raise my levels for the moment.  Singing has many tricky sides.  I will continue to explore.

As the hours waned and the comfy chairs threatened our consciousness, I stood and danced to some funky groove - between karaoke rejuvinators - as Cats gazed salaciously.  Deciding that further declines would circumvent any anticipated sins of the flesh, we settled with the barkeeps - two lovely ladies - and made our way out of the basement bar.  Reaching the top of the stairs, pelted with a chorus of good-nights, the serving wenches (pardon the negative connotations - I'm just trying to keep the language from getting dull) joined together in insisting that I dance for them as well, not only for "her."  Arms around each other, the foursome of excessive breasts left me little choice but to agree to some future performance.

How many thought that Gaston was a damn fool, chasing Belle when the local busty aprons swooned?  Fairy tale, I think it is called.  He said it was because she was the most beautiful.  I think the question required further investigation and consideration. 

Belle gave the Beast a chance, but she didn't give Gaston the same chance.   Perhaps Gaston was a beautiful prince with a slightly more subtle curse on him.  Maybe Belle could have saved him, as well. 

Maybe Belle should stop reading the same book over and over and read one of the other books.

Give me Jasmine any time.

Oh, yeah.  I have a friend with a sexy mama (dude, that's my mom) - even wilder since he's a grown man and so she's a perpetually sexy mama - theat most luscious of legendary womenfolk types.  Some time ago, Sexy Mama married a preacherman.  They have a nice house and that's about all I know.  My friend says, "my mama and the preacherman went to Shreveport.  Guess how much they won."

"A thousand would be impressive."

"For me, a thousand would be impressive.  What would you call one hundred, seventy two thousand."

The preacherman had $100 and played the slots.  He was almost through the coins when he won $21,000.  Then he dropped a few more coins and won another $151,000.

"We need to go to his church.  Either God really digs him or the Devil is trying to tempt him.  Either way, I want to stand by him when I gamble."

Is luck transferrable?  What kind of experiments do we need to measure this idea?

M

posted by: Malinov at 11:52 | link | comments (4) |
tales of passing time

Who's your Alpha?

That's right, I'm your Alpha now.

There are pitfalls to having a multiplicity of talents.  It has taken me decades to understand that being hung like a horse doesn't force you to make porno.  So to speak.  Where's Johnny Wadd when you need him?

I think the eX is presently in the process of uniting herself with the Alcalde.  Raise a glass and smoke a toast to my personal nemisi.   Under the cloak of darkness they met and planned my destruction.  It would have worked, too, if not for a sense of timing that can only be described in language of the miraculous.  Bleeding and ready to die, I staggered to my feet, defended and prepared, feinted and defeated their paltry attacks.  They embrace in the ruin of their moral ugliness, bearing the horrible weight of sins that deserve no mercy, from me, anyway.

She met the dude, stole my possessions, locked me out of the house and told everyone - our children included - that I left her for someone else. 

Sleep well, my little droogies.  Sleep well.

Some days, this sort of emotional garbage is forced upon me.  If they went away, other protagonists would be bound to follow.  Life without problems would be a dull lot, indeed.  Enjoying the struggle is the secret to endless happiness.

I was created in the forge of their stupidity.  In many ways, I owe them much gratitude.  Without them, I'd never be here.

Church was a nice experience this morning.  My evolution is apparently quite visible, as I am greeted almost constantly as I move through a crowd.   Sometimes I feel as though I am reborn - alive on an entirely new planet - one that is so remarkably simple in the infinites of complexity.  Hah - as though anything could ever be simple. 

I decree a pleasuredome!  Put it by the sacred river. 

Prepare.

M

posted by: Malinov at 12:57 | link | comments |

determined

Another weekend with the children is begun.  I have never felt so marvelously alive.  The boys cashed in the gift cards from my brother, so we are well equipped to pass the time.  Tess is swirling socially.  Ah, youth.

My singing is becoming renowned since I took it public, at least in my close circles.  I am compelled to take myself outside, to confront and interact.  Handling the attention has always been at the core of my problems, so I am taking the bull by the horns.  I have erased my fears.

The struggle never ends, so far as I know, and the struggle is the joy.  Gamers know what I mean. 

Life is Now.

M

posted by: Malinov at 21:05 | link | comments (2) |

a brief message

To my eX and her consort, the alcalde:

<fx:voice="cartman">

Hahahahahaha Nyahnyahnyahnyah

</fx>

Stupidity provides its own punishment, n'cest pas?  My antagonists have hoisted themselves on their own petard.  The best revenge is living well.

C'est la Vino

M

posted by: Malinov at 12:33 | link | comments |

encore

I began by singing Black Magic Woman.  My voice was still stiff, but I managed to hang in. 

Then I took a shot at "Me and Mrs. Jones."  The crowd began to respond at once.  I have sung this one ten thousand times to myself.  As I realized the reach of the chorus was coming, I began to shy away, but the crowd pressed me forward to a full voice attack.  Orgasmic.

I sat quietly, preparing myself for another stab at the mic.  The bartender - a strikingly pretty blonde with boobs, a bare midriff and delicious hips - had been swarmed with male attention constantly in the half-dozen times we had gone to the club.  I typically leave popular girls alone, preferring to hunt at the edge of the herd.  She approached me and as timidly as a child, offered her compliments.

I was stunned.  I was intimidating a vivacious confident woman. 

I continued with Radar Love and the Letter.  A country singer tried to advance himself on Cats, but my sudden appearance left him out cold.  So then a girl decided to get intimate with her instead.  I heard rumors of kisses and such, but was too wrapped up in my singing to pay it much mind.

Onward and Upward!

M

posted by: Malinov at 12:57 | link | comments (3) |

profoundly

Anyone still amazed by a coincidence hasn't lived very long.  Life is nothing but coincidences.

Anyone who insists there is only one explanation for something is simply stupid.  There are always trillions of possibile explanations, no matter what the facts are.

When generalizing, it is always important to point out the exceptions.  Except, of course, . . .

If you only spend a few moments being amazed at each instance of human stupidity, your life would be spent in amazement.  Intelligence is a recent development and it is obvious that the bugs have not been worked out of the system.  I hear the next upgrade will be amazing.

The past year has affected me profoundly.  I threw off the shackles of stupidity in the form of my eX as I remained calm while she used every inch of rope to hang herself.  My best strategy was having incredibly smart kids.  As time passed, they recognized the shaving cream my eX was serving them.  Our calm course has been good for all. 

Much of my time has been spent in self-development.  A brilliant mind is like a high-performance engine.  Without adequate controls, it is explosive.  Learning to control the full power of my processor has been a major undertaking.   My inquiry has paid off nicely.  Life has acquired a delighful shine lately.  The world, as they say, is my oyster.

"You broke my heart when you left me and I'll break your jaw if you come back." - a song Elvis sang

I'm going to sing again tonight.  Last Sunday was the first time I have ever sang for an audience, solo voce.   Such is the measure of my axiety relief. 

I am transformed.  The changes are profound.

M

posted by: Malinov at 18:49 | link | comments (2) |